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I can’t get past failing to make my dream come true

The Yomiuri Shimbun Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a male company employee in my 20s, and I haven’t been able to get over how I failed to make my dream come true.

I’ve wanted to be a police officer since I was a child. I adored a motorcycle policeman I saw in town. My adoration turned into my dream of becoming a police officer who would help people.

At first, I passed a highly competitive employment test to be a police officer. However, my leg got injured during training at a police academy. The severely disciplined academy life was also unbearable for me. So I quit only several months after I took it up.

I made the decision to do so myself. But I regretted doing it, and I felt so helpless. I sometimes found myself blaming other people. I was obsessed with self-hatred. My tiny pride had discouraged me from asking others for advice, so I had just been struggling alone.

I took another job about 1-1/2 years later. I talked myself into believing that this is the life and live every day trying to get used to it.

However, I sometimes find myself depressed or imagine how it would have been if I could have made my dream come true. I understand people have or don’t have the aptitude for doing this work or that, but I have yet to free myself from feeling utterly defeated.

I’m aware I need to find a solution to this matter by myself, but I would be very grateful if you could offer me some advice.

D, Tokyo

Dear Mr. D:

You say you haven’t been able to recover after you failed to make your dream come true, but after I read through your letter, I can’t help but feel you have pushed yourself into a severe situation and are now unnecessarily worrying about all this.

Why not release yourself from the curse that you feel like a failure? I think if you can pull that off, you’ll feel better.

Since you passed the highly competitive test and became a police officer once, you made your dream come true anyway.

You quit work because you got injured and realized on your own that you were not suited for it. As you quit of your own free will, don’t take it as a failure in such a negative way, but rather see it as an opportunity to change jobs and live better.

We are given various options in our life, so if you couldn’t make one dream come true, find another dream.

You wanted a job that helps people. Such work is not limited to becoming a police officer. Why not look for another job that helps people and try to do that?

You can’t get back on your feet if you worry too much about your past. You are still young. So don’t look back. Think how you can live happily from now on.

Sachiyo Dohi, lawyer

(from March 8, 2015, issue)

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