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My mother took my ticket away for an adult event

The Yomiuri ShimbunDear Troubleshooter:

I’m a 19-year-old male university student, and I bought a ticket for a talk show featuring a porn star actress.

However, my mother took my ticket away.

She doesn’t say anything to me about my watching pornography DVDs. However, she’s concerned about my going to such events as people around us could find out that I went if the venues are reported by the media. She’s also concerned about personal information, such as the lists of participants at such events, leaking out.

She even said to me, “Do you think companies and offices are willing to hire people who go to such things?”

If I try to argue, she becomes emotional. So I have no option other than to just listen to her.

I’ve reached the age where I’m eligible to go to such events. I’m not really bothered if it does get out that I went to one.

I can watch pornography but can’t go to events. She has no right to interfere with my pastime. I was so shocked by my mother taking my ticket that I can’t concentrate on my studies.

How can I persuade my mother to understand my pastime?

T, Chiba Prefecture

Dear Mr. T:

I wonder how your mother knew you bought the ticket. I suspect she didn’t find it by herself, and that you were the one who told her about it.

Although she tolerates you watching pornography, she may have become anxious to see you get more and more infatuated with this pastime and ended up warning you about it. After all, you are so easily distracted from studying just from having your ticket taken away. So I think it’s natural for her as your mother to be concerned about your future.

I don’t want to say that you shouldn’t watch pornography or decide that going to talk shows featuring porn stars is a waste of time. It’s not a matter of good or bad, but I’d suggest you watch them in secret.

It’s not the type of pastime you can openly talk about with others. You can’t be proud of having such a pastime, either. So enjoy it only by yourself. That’s how it is. It’s more interesting as you can’t talk about it openly. All adults do that way, too.

There’s no problem in this. I assume your mother is simply interfering with your actions as you are naive and seem to be so easily negatively influenced.

Tatsuro Dekune, writer

(from Aug. 27, 2015, issue)Speech

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