Help! I’m unsuccessful in my work and love life

The Yomiuri ShimbunDear Troubleshooter

I’m a man in my 40s. I’m unsuccessful in my work and love life.

Lately an acquaintance introduced me to a job and I started working part-time. However, when I worked for four days there, I was told over the phone that I wasn’t needed at work anymore. I got depressed. Now, I can’t look at anything in a positive way, as I’m concerned similar things might happen in future.

By nature, I’m relatively cheerful. But I’m offended by even trivial things that I don’t like, and become sulky and won’t talk at all. Also, when other people tell me something related to my job or some other things, I get quite depressed.

If I continue to work, I might meet a woman I’ll eventually fall in love with. But I don’t dare to do so now. In short, I have no confidence both in working and loving somebody.

People tell me that I’m a sincere person at heart. They also tell me I’m kind. But I don’t think so.

I think they don’t see me working hard, though I do my best at work. In addition, I don’t know well how to deal with people when I meet them for the first time.

Even though I want to cry, I can’t do so. What should I do? Please give me some advice.

Y, Yamagata Prefecture

Dear Mr. Y

You know your faults very well. So correct them first. Without making much of an effort, you can do something to rectify your short temper and stop becoming angry at what you don’t like.

You feel depressed when other people take you to task. You can’t find arguments to counter this because what they say is reasonable. However, you live a daily life in which you think you are always right.

It’s virtually impossible for you to do something successfully and have confidence in such a situation. Even though you work seriously, other people will not appreciate you if you cannot control your feelings.

This world seems to be full of unsatisfactory things. But people live with them patiently, even with dissatisfaction in their hearts.

They ruin themselves and lose their jobs if they display annoyance whenever they are dissatisfied.

I guess you have a gloomy expression on your face every day. That’s why other people probably say you are a sincere person at heart and kind because they are surprised by your personality. Smile as much as you can. You should always be smiling.

Tatsuro Dekune, writer

(from Oct. 8, 2015, issue)Speech

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