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I can’t stop depending on fortune-tellers

The Yomiuri Shimbun Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a part-time female worker in my 40s. I can’t stop depending on fortune-telling when I make a decision. I’m aware I’m very weak-minded.

I don’t mean astrology programs on TV. I mean I pay money to fortune-tellers, giving them my name and date of birth and having them tell my fortune. When I can’t decide on something, I visit two or more fortune-tellers. If their opinions are different, I can’t easily decide which one I should follow.

I’m very aware I’m indecisive, lack confidence and expect fortune-telling to rescue me. I do it because I want to make the right decision every time. Fortune-telling encourages me to do so.

On the other hand, I often regret it and feel low because doing what the fortune-tellers say doesn’t work very well. To put it briefly, I have no integrity in my life, no stability and no composure. I almost hate myself.

I’ve had bitter times and tough times. I’ve experienced setbacks and been forced to give up on what I was pursuing. Nevertheless, I’ve overcome most of them, so I have no idea why I’m not confident in myself. I’m ashamed, because I’m old enough to know better.

M, Osaka Prefecture

Dear Ms. M:

You say you depend on fortune-tellers, but you don’t always pay money to the same fortune-teller and you don’t always obediently listen to their opinions. Ultimately, you get the opinions of two or more fortune-tellers and make your own decisions, so you don’t have to blame yourself for being weak.

As you have experienced bitter and tough times, you may feel there is fate beyond human power and you feel like depending on fortune-telling. Now, think of it this way — you’ve overcome setbacks, so you have the power to work out your own fate, don’t you?

When you feel helpless, you may have the desire to use all the power within you to cope with the matter, while other people do nothing other than ask for God’s help in their mind. It’s best to follow ideas that you feel are right.

I also suggest you get the opinions of two or more friends who can think objectively about matters, not just fortune-tellers, when you want to contemplate various options.

Junko Umihara, psychiatrist

(from May 7, 2016, issue)Speech

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