I worry my boyfriend is too good for me to marry

The Yomiuri ShimbunDear Troubleshooter:

I’m a female company worker in my 20s. I have a boyfriend whom I am considering marrying, but I’m worried that I may be unworthy of becoming his wife.

We used to be in a long-distance relationship, but I moved into his place a year ago to start living together. We both work, and I’m a non-regular worker. On my days off, I do as much housework as I can to support him as he works very hard. My relationship with him is very good.

I live a happy life now, but I have one concern. My boyfriend is too good for me. For example, he was recommended as his department’s supervisor even though he was still in his first year at the company. In addition, his family includes a celebrity showbiz entertainer and a company president.

All these things are so dazzling and even make me wonder whether I should marry him.

I’m not satisfied with my current job. I want to be a regular worker so that I can get better pay and working conditions. But to tell the truth, I have a dream job that is not my current one. If I become a regular worker, I may become too busy to have a good balance between my private life and my career as I do now.

Should I continue my current life with him? Should I change my job? Please advise me.

M, Tottori Prefecture

Dear Ms. M:

To be honest with you, I suspect your description of your boyfriend is too good to be true. In addition, I feel you are fantasizing too much about having more than you already have. I’m a little puzzled.

You say he is too good for you. Is he really so wonderful? If he truly is as you say, he may turn his back on you sometime in the future if he finds you do not suit him.

There is another possibility: He is in fact not as good as you describe him to be and has just made you believe he is amazing. You should calmly take another look at him. (It is said women have superior instincts.)

It is quite natural for you to want to believe all his excellent points while wishing for something better for yourself. But in reality, things do not always go so smoothly. I understand you want to be a regular worker and work in your dream job. Are you certain you can balance your life and work if you realize these things?

I want to ask you: How do you want to live your life? You should think hard about your true goal, set your priorities and decide whether to continue your current life or try to start a new career and start over with an eye on your future.

Taku Mayumura, writer

(from March 31, 2017, issue)Speech

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