The Yomiuri ShimbunDear Troubleshooter:
I’m a male doctor in my 20s, and I just got my heart broken. Every day I’m depressed.
When I was a kid, I was bad at reading the situation, and bad at anything athletic or academic. In junior high school, the girls in my class acted like I was repulsive, which made me scared of women.
Still, I studied like crazy and after failing the exam once, I managed to get into medical school. I became a doctor last year.
I met a woman at work, and we began seeing each other. She was my first girlfriend and I’ll never forget the beating of my heart until I told her I loved her, or how happy I was when we held hands for the first time.
However, she recently told me she wanted to break up. “It’s hard to work in the same place with someone I’m seeing,” she said. I think she didn’t like how hard it was for us to have time together because both of us work some night shifts and holidays.
After breaking up, I have no desire to do anything and find myself staring off into space a lot. I’m remembering how the girls in junior high school used to look at me.
I haven’t told my parents anything, so I have to put up with them asking me, “Isn’t there anyone special?”
J, Ibaraki Prefecture
Dear Mr. J:
No matter what the area, everyone has big and small failures in their lives. It’s quite rare for everything to go well right from the start, though of course it’s false to say that never happens.
Every time we face failure, we reflect on where we may have gone wrong with our mistakes. To avoid reliving similar painful experiences, we go through a process of trial and error over and over again until at last we manage to find success. This is how we all have to go through life. I think you know this well, since you studied hard to become a doctor even though you once were not good at it.
Love is no different. We must learn from our mistakes in love. All you have to do is carefully think about where you went wrong and fix it. Take what you have learned from this experience and use it for the next one.
In other words, you should polish your personality to make it shine even more. Then you can find another wonderful woman. This is why love makes you grow as a person.
Think that you were just immature in love. Think of this experience as a fresh challenge for you, and think hard about where you should improve.
Tatsuro Dekune, writer